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Dads
and Doulas: Working Together Many dads-to-be worry that
a doula will replace them at the birth. A father may worry that his partner doesn’t trust him enough to be a support
for her during labor. He may also be concerned that a doula’s presence at the birth will remove the intimacy of the
moment. But a doula can never replace the father’s
role, which is to be there to love and support his partner. Plus, he also experiences the birth of the child, in his own way.
As far as the doula interfering with the intimacy of the moment, the doula is only one member of the birth team, which includes
nurses, a doctor or midwife, and sometimes other specialists. In fact, a doula can often help create that intimate feel by
helping shoo the nurses or doctors out of the room for a moment, so the about-to-be-new-parents can be alone for awhile.
A doula is there to help the father, as much as she helps the
mother. The fact of the matter is, our society places a great deal of pressure and responsibility on the father-to-be during
labor. A childbirth class isn’t enough to prepare a new, nervous dad to support his wife through what may be one of
the most difficult and challenging moments in her life. Is it fair to expect the father to remain 100% focused and calm, when
his wife is struggling? A doula can help support
the father, so he can concentrate on his wife. Here are some of the many ways dads and doulas work together.
Behind the Scenes
Birth Coach For the father who wants to really be active
and provide all the physical and emotional support, the doula can help with hints, reminders, and advice during the birth,
so he can just focus on his wife. Is the mother having
back labor? The father may not recognize this, or even know what to do. But the doula is trained to figure out what’s
bothering the mother the most, and all the possible ways to help her feel more comfortable. The doula can tell the dad what
she thinks would help his wife best, while he does the actual work and support. The doula can also bring drinks and snacks to the father, so he can keep up his energy during the
long labor. She can take the time to speak with nurses or seek out extra pillows, allowing the father to stay with his wife
without interruption. Tag-team Birth Support Most labors last
several hours, sometimes lasting 12 hours and longer. A doula’s presence allows the father to take guilt free breaks.
He can go get a bite to eat, or take a nap, without feeling that he left his wife alone. Whether he needs to take just a few breaks during labor, or he prefers to switch every hour with the
doula to keep his energy up, it will allow the mother to feel supported and cared for continuously. Chance to Just Experience
the Birth As mentioned earlier, society places a
lot of pressure on fathers to provide the sole support for their partner’s during labor. But many fathers would prefer
to just experience the moment with their wives, without the pressure to perform. A doula can provide full support for the mother, allowing the father to take a back-seat from active
support, and give him the chance to experience the birth along side her. Before the birth, it’s important that the doula, mother, and father all sit together and talk about how they
envision the childbirth. It’s also important that the father participate in choosing and hiring the doula, since they
should both feel comfortable with whomever they choose to attend this special moment in their lives. (borrowed from doula.com)
Dads and Doulas: Key Players on Mother's Labor Support Team
There was a time when expectant fathers were portrayed as anxious, floor-pacing, cigarsmoking
men
who were tolerated in hospital corridors until the long-awaited moment when a
nurse or doctor would announce they were
the proud father of a daughter or a son. Today's
expectant fathers are different.
When it comes to pregnancy, birth,
and parenting, today's father wants to share
everything with his partner. He wants to be actively involved; ease his
partner’s labor pain,
welcome his baby at the moment of birth and help care for his newborn at home. A labor doula
can help a father experience this special time with confidence.
The word "doula" which comes from ancient
Greek, today refers to a woman trained
and experienced in childbirth. A doula provides continuous physical, emotional,
and
informational support to the expectant mother and her partner during labor, delivery and in the
immediate postpartum
period. The wisdom and emotional support of experienced women at
birth is an ancient tradition.
Studies show that
when doulas are present at birth, women have shorter labors, fewer
medical interventions, fewer cesareans and healthier
babies. Recent evidence also suggests that
when a doula provides labor support, women are more satisfied with their experience
and the
mother-infant interaction is enhanced as long as two months after the birth. With doula support,
fathers
tend to stay more involved with their partner rather than pull away in times of stress.
Today, a father's participation
in birth preparation classes or his presence at prenatal
visits and in the delivery suite is a familiar occurrence. Yet,
we sometimes forget that the
expectations of his role as a "labor coach" may be difficult to fulfill. Sometimes
it is also
culturally inappropriate for an expectant father to be so intimately involved in the process of
labor
and birth.
The father-to-be is expected among other things to become familiar with the process and
language of birth,
to understand medical procedures and hospital protocols and advocate for his
partner in an environment and culture he
is usually unfamiliar with. A doula can provide the
information to help parents make appropriate decisions and facilitate
communication between
the laboring woman, her partner and medical care providers.
. At times a father may not understand
a woman’s instinctive behavior during childbirth
and may react anxiously to what a doula knows to be the normal
process of birth. He may
witness his partner in pain and understandably become distressed. The doula can be reassuring
and skillfully help the mother to cope with labor pain in her unique way. The father-to-be may
need to accompany his
partner during surgery should a cesarean becomes necessary. Not all
fathers can realistically be expected to "coach"
at this intense level.
Many fathers are eager to be involved during labor and birth. Others, no less loving or
committed
to their partner's well being find it difficult to navigate in uncharted waters. With a
doula, a father can share in
the birth at a level he feels most comfortable with. The doula’s skills
and knowledge can help him to feel more
relaxed. If the father wants to provide physical
comfort such as back massage, change of positions, and help his partner
to stay focused during
contractions, the doula can provide that guidance and make suggestions for what may work
best.
Physicians, midwives and nurses are responsible for monitoring labor, assessing the
medical condition of the mother
and baby, and treating complications when they arise. But
childbirth is also an emotional and spiritual experience with
long-term impact on a woman's
personal well being. A doula is constantly aware that the mother and her partner will remember
this experience throughout their lives. By “mothering the mother” during childbirth the doula
supports
the parents in having a positive and memorable birth experience.
The benefits of doula care have been recognized worldwide.
The Medical Leadership
Council of Washington, D.C, the Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada and
the
World Health Organization are among the many healthcare organizations that value the
benefits that doulas provide to
women in labor.
The father's presence and loving support in childbirth is comforting and reassuring.
The love he
shares with the mother and his child, his needs to nurture and protect his family are
priceless gifts that only he can
provide. With her partner and a doula at birth a mother can have
the best of both worlds: her partner’s loving
care and attention and the doula's expertise and
guidance in childbirth. (Borrowed from DONA.org)
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